May 6, 2011

what kinda drunk are you?

glee :: still from the episode "blame it on the drunk"
     Spare me, but people who are boozed-up are fun to watch. Few shots/drinks and we loose all our inhibitions. We have no problem telling "I am horny" to "I hate you" soon after we are intoxicated. As promised, here are the different types of drunk, the way I see it. Call it a life style (or drunk style) we all fall into one or two of these categories;) And deny as much as you want alcohols does bring forth either the funny or evil shades in us!!

1# "world is a happy place" kinda drunk :: Man some display of funny bone!! Am one of those people, you know the kinds who laughs hysterically and almost at everything. Call it laugh-y drunk or whatever but these kinds often roll over floor laughing even if they are told to SHUT-UP. The laughs are often accompanied with hugs and inclining to the friends sitting next to them. Do they even piss their pants (I wonder)? I am the certified laugh-y drunk but have never pissed my pants though... or have I? And try to tickle 'em they are overtly ticklish when drunk (just another reason to laugh I guess).

2# "stay away - I am a sociopath and potential serial killer" kinds drunk :: Hmm... they often creep around the corner and keep staring at the nothingness (literally)!! They drink all they want and are territorial (much like wolves, I say. LOL). Try to strike a conversation with them and they'll prolly give you this GODFATHER kinda intense look and you can only give this awkward smile and walk away. Who knows whats going on in the dark brain of theirs?? *clueless*

3# "I cut loose in the most dramatic kinda way" kinda drunk :: There's always this clown of the lot who runs around and loves to do crazy stuffs. When I say crazy its not "lets shoot some people" kinda crazy but much like buzz-kill types. They'd often ask you "lets play spin the bottle" or some other drunk games. Personally, I think some of them are tolerable but others are morons and deserves to get a bash on their drunk booty. Arsehoes, just keep dancing your weird dance and quit asking "do you want to play spin the bottle?" They are the kinds who you suddenly realize are funny. But behold... they'll retreat to their usual self almost seconds after sobering up!!
4# "I am horny and I know you are too" kinda drunk :: Its amazing how fast some girls turn into the Dirty Diana from the Ugly Betty. Even the geekiest and quietest girl turns into this slut who'd flirt with anyone (literally anyone). She'd touch Tom, kiss Harry, give a lap dance to Dick, tack up air kisses to random people, give some horny wink at janitor and have no inhibitions showing that they have "I am horny and just wanna get laid" syndrome. Ooh yeah!! keep looking for the occasional nipple slips and seemingly unintentional groin touches. As of guys, they are almost always horny, so nothing much to add LOL.

5# "I love swearing and I can do it in 10 different languages" kinda drunk :: Some of my best friends fall under this genre. They get caught up in whirlwind of drunken name calling that everyone becomes a slut and a whore, Afro-americans becomes nigger, teachers becomes a homo. Be good to them or else you are doomed. They will spread a rumor about you and will say that with utmost certainty that even you'll end up believing the rumor about yourself. BE AWARE!!

6# "Puta madre!! lets kick until one of us is dead" kinda drunk :: Ehh... they are the ones who'll bring occasional halt to the party. Glasses are broken, hulk-like bouncers show up, some are showed their way out and blah blah. They are almost always (when drunk) neurotically paranoid over other person as to how they are fucking up his/her chances with girls/boys. And I for one find cat fight hilarious. Its pandemic, I mean chicks would just pull each others hair and slap occasionally with incessant curses. I ABSOLUTELY love it;)

7# "Overtly touchy" kinda drunk :: Ass grabs, pat on the back and else where, tight thigh grabs, knuckles and punches (lil' too hard), and tight hugs (lil' too long)... C'mon all of you know this kinds. They'll make even the super drunk uncomfortable. Jeez, if you want to make out just let me know... subtle hints like this will make you look like a creep!!

8# "I will audition for AMERICAN IDOL like soonish" kinda drunk :: Hello, they might sound like a frog and dance like a hippo but they'll sing and dance anyway. Its easy to spot them. They'll sing louder than the rest of us and are often the last ones to leave the dance floor (o'course when they are told "STOP dancing or you'll die"). And this kinds are prolly the ones who'd end up losing the keys and wallet. (Wait... I keep losing 'em too *clueless face*).

9# "I am not drunk" kinda drunk :: They will have already pissed their pants, vomitted in one of the corners of the room, spilled "something-something" on unwashable white rugs, can be at the edge of passing out point with but o'course they will be shouting "I AM NOT DRUNK, *BIATCH*"... and the funny part is, these kinds are often accompanied by some worried souls who are constantly begging for him/her to stop drinking and to go home. Guess what he/she will reply --> "I AM NOT DRUNK, *DUMBASS*" Just spare them and enjoy yourself.

10# "I am brave" kinda drunk :: And how can I not mention the kinds who are motor-mouth and are overwhelmed by this overflow of self-esteem. They would say things that they've kept bottled up like forever. From proposals to "I have kissed a guy" confessions. From "I just broke up and in totally miserable state" to "lets fuck and make babies"... they'd literally say it all. And damn why do girls cry (mostly girls) when they are drunk? They suddenly become this cry baby and the other person is like *AWKWARD*

Whatever the type (and some I must have missed), getting drunk is better than being a teetotaler, as we need to cut loose sometimes. But all of us should know our limit and let it not be our addiction.
And if you're partying tonight and want to get perfect anti hangover tip... check this one out!! --> works for me;) <-- This one works like magic I tell'ya and thank me later;)
P.S. What kinda drunk are you? Hasta Luego.


  1. I might be No.8 and a bit of No.4/No.1 but I never lose track of what I'm doing. I become more aware when I'm drunk. To tell you the truth, (i don't know bout other girls), girls would like it if her partner is there to hold her when she's drunk. cheers:)

  2. nasty lil' revelation there!! point noted;) i reckon no.8 are definite fun... they stomp the feet and shake 'em booties as they sing and dance. such fun to watch!! am defo no.1 and must admit lil' bit of no.8 as well!! its amazing tht u become more aware after u are drunk... i on the other hand drain all my awareness on the gutter;)

  3. Haha I become a No.1 def. I had some firends who generalize that all latin drunks get to No. 4 but I beg to differ... that's not always the case :PGetiing drunk is fun at the right times with the right people.. :)

  4. alice we've something in common then// am (without a shred or doubt)a no.1 // i've some latin classmates (ur country-mates to be precise) and they tend to no.4 // but am generalizing// and yes right times and right pple will add to ur drinking experience... u shall do it together sometime in future!!


stay insanely happy ♥