January 23, 2011

my big fat nepalese gang!!

     Wherever in the world you are now,

     Due to life circumstances, controllable, unavoidable or otherwise, keeping up and staying in touch with friends has become somewhat of an issue. So much so that we loose that friendship and in most cases we don't even mind loosing it. It is an issue on two levels, one, I keep thinking about them and two, I keep wondering how the friendship could have evolved with extended time. Now the second factor is interesting, and also opens up some questions. I have been accused, indicted, commented upon, in varying degrees of fashion that I do not open up enough to friends around me, hence limiting the extent of the level of intimacy that I can share with the friend. This I have to admit is TRUE, despite myself being an open book, often prattling upon random bits of information that society considers inappropriate, private, socially unconventional or otherwise.

      Its not that I intend to keep arms length away from people. I can only offer a few explanations as to why that is the case( if you were wondering why I was distant from you as a friend).

     In hindsight when I look back at college, I realised for the most part with most people, I need to spend an extended period of time with an individual before that person actually becomes my friend. Only a couple of people are exempt from this- you know who you are.

     For example going to class with someone twice a week does not suffice. And may I also add that due to my own lack of effort, most friendships I had with college classmates stayed on a superficial level. Looking back it pained me to realise that a few individuals out there liked me as friend, made and effort, and I didn't return the favor. So then I learned, that I needed to make an effort, and open to up to people.Then again also I do connect with some individuals better than others-this is rather unavoidable given my background. I was also thankful that I chose to rekindle the lost friendships, and moved some friendships away from the incubation stage.

     I sometimes give myself the benefit of excuses such as " oh if its meant to be, its meant to be", giving too much importance to the element of probability. If the extent of time spent with a person is a factor in my friendships-perhaps this is a something I need to learn how to overcome, given the demands of time and attention placed on us. But then overall, I was grateful for those I met, and those I shared good times and bad times with, even if I was with them for a short time.

     Of course, if our friendship stayed solid over years, I think there is something to celebrate, don't you think?
     Least i can do is try to keep in touch and avoid the tag"i am busy"..!!<and this tag my fren is nothin' but a big fat horseshit>

(1st October 2010)

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